Tewksinator

tak3m3awaytoparadis3: disconcerning: antisociallysplendid: som...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:34:14 -0400

disconcerning:

antisociallysplendid:

someonesthunderboltsomeday:

lsdandthc:

skittlezthecat:

da-sy:

redvinesgiraffe:

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

O_O

yesss i found it again! one of my all time favourite reads.

Philosophy went to the max right here

OI SCROLL BACK UP AND READ ALL OF IT!

I was really intrigued by this

philosophy went to the max? Philosophy came, shot me in the shoulder and said i was never shot because the gun never existed because I’m not real and the pain I’m actually feeling is the beginning of the big bang theory in another time zone

not sure whether the person that wrote that was extremely stable mentally or extremely unstable

Wtf.

Photo

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:21:05 -0400

Don't they look alike?

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 12:32:37 -0400

Does anyone else think Henry Cavill and Matt Bomer look alike?

Photo

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 09:38:54 -0400

kateoplis: Huxley vs. Orwell

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 09:26:21 -0400

kateoplis:

Huxley vs. Orwell

vaspim: TLC // No Scrubs

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 07:41:02 -0400

vaspim:

TLC // No Scrubs

Another sleepless night

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 00:45:16 -0400

I can’t fall asleep. My legs keep wanting to move and occasionally tingle.

Photo

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 23:36:04 -0400

sevenpoints: iidelirium: captainragtag: hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 13:38:22 -0400

sevenpoints:

iidelirium:

captainragtag:

hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue

BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER

“IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!” MEN SHOUT

“NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!” WOMEN REPLY

swish-and-flickyr: When he cuts himself shaving, he does half...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 10:42:04 -0400

swish-and-flickyr:

When he cuts himself shaving, he does half an hour on life forms he’s cleverer than.

#i can just see rose sitting on the bathroom counter as nine shaves #waiting for him to cut himself shaving because she knows he will eventually #and listening to his rants while smirking #and eventually he runs out of life forms because he goes on so much #so he just starts insulting cats #CATS DON’T HAVE TO SHAVE ROES #I’M A TIME LORD #WHY DO I HAVE TO SHAVE #I’M TOO CLEVER FOR THIS #my babies (via darvillains)

lexxerduglas: clorinspats: shade-rartblog: thewingedshadow: e...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 10:35:33 -0400

lexxerduglas:

clorinspats:

shade-rartblog:

thewingedshadow:

elliotexplicit:

cineraria:

How to Fold a Shirt in Under 2 Seconds - YouTube
伊東家の食卓

I just did this. Legit.

the fuck

Clearly this is black magic at work here

been folding my shirts like this for so long that it feels weird to do it any other way

WHAT THE SHIT

sandandglass: The United States government knows more about me than my friends do. So does...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 22:33:25 -0400

sandandglass:

The United States government knows more about me than my friends do.

So does Google…

joesorandom: ripples through time and the universeso i watched...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 20:54:14 -0400

joesorandom:

ripples through time and the universe
so i watched the movie “cloud atlas“. the premise was pretty interesting and touched on a topic…
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Photo

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 09:41:45 -0400

For the fans of the beard and chest hair.

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 01:51:04 -0400

For the fans of the beard and chest hair.

captainwondyful: MAN OF STEEL? MORE LIKE MAN OF FEELS

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 01:35:09 -0400

captainwondyful:

MAN OF STEEL? MORE LIKE MAN OF FEELS

poketrainer4life: 10 points for Gryffindor

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 01:33:51 -0400

poketrainer4life:

10 points for Gryffindor

apathetic-or-hyper-focused: Words can be like X-rays, if you...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 01:14:29 -0400

apathetic-or-hyper-focused:

Words can be like X-rays, if you use them properly - they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.
-Aldous Huxley
Brave New World

I'm shopping for Avengers bedsheets at Target for my dorm. There's 2 left, I grab one, and so does a little boy with his mom.

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 01:10:49 -0400

Me to boy: Wow, we got lucky! The last two, just for us!
Little Boy: I know! *Then he starts staring in awe at the Avengers*
Boy's Mom: Are you buying those for your little brother?"
Me: No, it's for me, for college.
Mom *looking at me weird*: But these bedsheets are for little boys. It's really not appropriate for a young woman, especially a college student.
Me: Wait, so it's "appropriate" for little boys to sleep on top of hot grown men in spandex, but it's weird when a college girl does it?
Mom:
Mom:
Mom:
Me: Have a nice day, ma'am. And rock those Avengers bedsheets, little man!

Keep Kaylee Flying

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 21:52:40 -0400

Keep Kaylee Flying:

askkayleefrye:

Broke-ish college student looking to cosplay as the Firefly/Serenity character Kaylee Frye at as many conventions as possible!

Guys, I am SO CLOSE to being done! I have $162 and just over a week to go. For $3, you can get a shiny friendship bracelet handmade by yours truly. Or, for $5, you are invited to an online viewing party of an episode of Firefly (of your choice), wherein I will be commentating, in character of course—plus, every $5 donated enters you to win swanky things like s ONE OF A KIND Mudder’s Mug, Jayne Hat, Wash’s Dinosaurs and more!

If you don’t mind reblogging to spread the word, I’d really appreciate it, and as soon as I hit my goal, I will not make so much as a peep about it again!